fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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