He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
