dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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