You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Hippo gnu deer
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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