the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
