Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
