well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
