You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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