youre lurking in front of me
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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