i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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