Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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