Welp...herpes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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