I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My cat gives me a boner
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
