I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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