ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
