I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
