Can Purell be used as lube?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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