I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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