her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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