dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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