i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
