just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
