She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
