spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
