I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
