Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Pants are for mortals
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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