I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
