OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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