so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
