dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
