first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
