Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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