Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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