Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
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