Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
