Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just had sex bonerless
i just google imaged poop.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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