Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
