So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
