i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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