Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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