apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
