What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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