I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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