I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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