cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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