One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
