a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
