Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This is the high leading the old right now
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
