Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i came on her dog
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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