you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
